Rain and Tears

I was sitting alone in a cafe watching through the glass as wind blew the rain at steep angles. I was in San Francisco cursing the weather for spoiling my 'touristy' plans. A girl entered the cafe. She looked Indian and I found myself staring at her. She was the only Indian face in all white crowd, and she was beautiful. Of course I was staring at her. She gave a smile and carried on to the counter to order a coffee and a box of delicious cookies. I know they were delicious because few minutes later she was sitting at my table and offering me those cookies.

She introduced herself as Neha and was supposed to meet somebody there, but he got delayed due to rain. She apologized for disturbing me. In my mind, I was praising the rain and hoping that it would never stop. There were no other free tables, and she preferred to share the table with an Indian. Within a few minutes of short conversation, we realized that both of us had a lot in common. We had grown up in same city, had attended same school (few years apart), were taught by same teachers, had been to same tuition classes and knew the same dialect of the local language in India. She seemed pleased to chat with me.

As we exchanged some of the memories from the place where we grew up few years apart, I realized that she was not up to date about the new developments in the region. Did not know about the new Mutiplex or about the new highway. She confided that she had not been to the city in many years, infact she had not been to India since more than 3 years.

I teased her about converting to a 'firangi' and soon regretted it. She was almost staring at me, with what seemed like fire her eyes. I seemed to have dug too deep into the past. Then she spoke:
'The last time I left the city, it was cold and windy and raining heavily. I was bare feet, crying and just enough money to buy train tickets to Bangalore.' There was silence.

'The weather was similar to what it is today. It depresses me even after so many years. Now you can guess why I am having coffee with a stranger. I don't like being alone'.

It was now my turn to apologize. We managed to steer away from the topic for a few moments, but curious as I am, I took the risk and asked her why was she depressed and more importantly barefoot and without any money.

'The story starts few months after my graduation. I was working in Bangalore. I had big plans of higher studies. But once while I was visiting my parents, a photo appeared in front of me. It seems there was a proposal for my marriage, and my parents were insistent that I should atleast consider it. I protested. I was too young for marriage. It took lots of tears from my mother and lots explanation about financial advantages of this match from my father for me to agree to meet this guy. It seems Kaushik's parents had promised to take up all the expense for the marriage. I knew well enough that my father had struggled to educate me and could not afford much financially. It was an offer too good to be true. I did not know it then, but it was my lesson on 'No food is free food'. I paid for it later in my life.

'I met Kaushik. He seemed a nice guy although a bit aloof. He was working in Bangalore as well and his family stayed in a near by town. I agreed to marry him. He also consented. We got married soon. His parents were in a hurry and my father was not unhappy either.'

'The first 6 months of our marriage were a bliss. We learnt that we had a lot in common and it seemed like the marriage was going on smooth. Kaushik had said that he never drank, but soon I realized that every time he had a dinner meet with 'customer', he seemed strange. He confided that he drank only because it was a social custom and he was always in control. Even I gave up the issue.'

'One day, around 6-8 months after our marriage, Kaushik called me that he had arranged for a party at our house. A couple of friends will be coming over and he had arranged to get the food from outside already. It turned out that some one had brought some drinks. First few minutes of the party were good as I got introduced to his friends. I had met only one of them earlier, his colleague Prateek. But as the drinks started taking control of them, Kaushik slowly changed. Their conversation slowly degraded as if they had forgotten my existence. When I tried to speak, I was cut off mid-sentence by Kaushik. I felt humiliated.

'I got up, collected my purse and keys and started to leave. It was almost midnight, but I could not stay there. Kaushik did not even notice, or so it seemed. Prateek offered me to drop me to wherever I wanted to go. He was sorry about their behavior. I thanked him but said I was fine. I went to my office nearby. And I cried for the first time after my marriage.'

'I was woken up the next day with sound of my mobile. It was Kaushik, who was apologetic. I had cooled down by then, but managed to get a promise out of him not to drink at home again.'

'Then one night, Kaushik did not come home. I tried calling him, but he did not answer. I was getting frantic when I received an SMS from Prateek saying that Kaushik is with him and he is fine. It was only the next day that Kaushik arrived home as if nothing had happened. He was disheveled as if he was drinking all night, but otherwise fine. I felt as if a cold war had begun between us.

'This started happening every week, when he used to disappear without telling me. I also got used to it, or so I thought until one day my mother in law arrived without notice. She offered that she will get the food packed for all three of us for dinner. As dinner time approached and passed, I realised that this was another one of Kaushik's disapearing nights. And I broke down. I narrated the whole story to my mother in law.

'She was quite for a long time. Then told me that they knew about Kausik's drinking habits all the while. 'Look, beta, We were thinking that once he gets married he will improve. But we were mistaken'. She continued philosophically 'It is a woman's life that she should bear what is given to her. You will have to understand Kaushik and hope that he will understand you too. We cannot do much more than sympathize you'. She waited for a long moment, obviously upset. Got up and left. Bang. Closing the door behind her. I did not know it then, but it was only the beginning. This was only the first of many doors which will be closed.

'Next day, Kaushik arrived as usual, especially bad. His shirt was half in, half out, his hair was ruffled, and he seemed to have lost his belt. I told him coldly that his mother had come yesterday night. He was shocked. He asked me what did I tell her? 'Did you tell her that I was busy at work?'. I did not lie. I could feel the rage building inside him. He first kicked the dining table upsetting yesterday's untouched food, then raised his hand to hit me. But then he regained his senses, turned around and Bang. The second door had closed.

'It took me 15 minutes to pack up, and leave to catch the train to visit my parents. I needed a break. When I reached home 8 hours later, I found the house was already grim. My mom-in-law had called and told the story, her side of story obviously. Although my parents welcomed me, they wanted to know what did I do to upset Kaushik so much. And when they realized that Kaushik had not called me for one whole day, they started nagging me to call him and apologize.

'It was few days later, during the visit of my aunt, my mom and aunt were closeted in the kitchen for quite some time. I was then summoned. My aunt started telling me about how neighbours have started talking, and even have started suspecting my charachter. She suggested that I should go and patch up with Kaushik. I started arguing that Kaushik does not care.'

'My dad who has listening till now suggested that I should go back to Bangalore. 'This is not your house now, beta. Your house is Kaushik's house. You cannot stay here forever' Bang. The third and last door had banged on me.

Neha came back to present, 'Now you know why I left, how I left. Upon reaching Bangalore I rented a house with a room mate. I cut-off almost all old contacts/friends. Kaushik did not even contact me, and I did not regret it.'

'Only once, on Prateek's insistense, I agreed to meet Kaushik. I wanted to see whether things have really changed. But, Kaushik turned up drunk and I left without a word.'

'One more year passed. I was happy living alone, when I heard that Kaushik was married again, yet again. I felt bad and decided to warn his fiance about his behaviour. Dumb as Kaushik can be, I still had access to his email ID. Half in spite, and half out of pity , I sent the fiance whole story of my life. It seems like the marriage was called off and along with it Kaushik's character was exposed. I came to know this when I received a threatening call from my ex-mother in law on dire consequences. My mother also called on this rare occasion to express her dis-pleasure.'You have spoiled your life. Why are you spoiling some one else's life too?'

'Things turned bad to worse one day when I found my room mate crying in the house. She had been threatened by some people who had come in search of me. Sent by my in-laws. To save myself, I lived next 6 months hiding from one paying guest to another, always dreading another of those threatening calls.

'Then things got better. At my work that is. I got an offer to come to US for long term. I took up that offer, came to US and have never returned back. I don't intend to either.'

I was in shock and did not know how to respond. I expressed my regrets saying that no one should suffer such as this. It was such a tragedy.

That is when she said: "All that happened was not bad. I met somebody during this ordeal who is special.' Just then I saw a young man walking towards us.

Neha said 'Meet Prateek, my fiance. We are getting married next month'.