I wish it was a dream

Strong wind blows across my face. Wind that was threatening to make me fly. Not that I bothered. I was sitting on the rock, shoes on my side looking down into the cliff. It was a tough climb, 2 days long. 2 days in bright sun yet lots of solitude. The daily routine was behind me. At last I knew where I was going. I knew my destination. It was such a relief to forget everything and push for that one goal.

What was it that I saw in the abyss? Not surely my achievements. Not even my money I made. Nor was it people I had helped. All I saw the futility of life. A wasted life. And what made it worse was that even now I could not see what else I could have done. Everything and everybody being a wasted thing. Things like a yo-yo.. turning round and round, neither achieving anything nor breaking down.

What was it which was worse. Seeing through things that money and achievement did not matter in the end? Or was it not having found anything else to replace the worldly things?
Or was it going through the highs feeling guilty of not having done something better? Or was it going troughs feeling guilty of not overcome the grief?
Was it being conscious enough of seeing through the futility of things and not being conscious enough of noticing the higher goal?

Yet the feeling of the wind on the face is beautiful. The dark clouds above shade the fiery sun. And I am away from grind. I have reached my goal. Its ecstatic.

Yet, I wish its a dream. I wish it was a dream.

Quest for Perfection

A dark room. Visible in the flames of the gas stove is a pressure cooker, which is obviously kept there for cooking, and a slightly stocky figure sitting on the sofa (slouching would have been more accurate). It was late in the evening, and Santosh was cooking his dinner at his home. Today he wanted to be in the dark. Darkness helps to ignore the immediate surroundings along with the emotions attached to it. Darkness means pensive brooding.

Brooding about, where he was and what had become of him. Known as "Sant" during his graduation days mainly as a shortened version of his name, it was not very indicative of his nature. He was known as an intellectual but without a philosophical bent to his mind. His philosophy began and ended with how money can solve all the problems of the world. Knowledge was important to him, but only as long at it provided good remuneration. He was intelligent and had made into a good job profile even before graduation. He waited for the first salary; waited eagerly for the drought to end, drought of money.

On the stove, the pressure cooker was still cool but soon it will be hotter.

He arrived in Mumbai, the financial capital of India, with a job in hand and dream in his eyes. This was his first job and his expectations were high. The job met his expectations, but his meager salary did not. The same salary which felt like a lot before was not enough for even meeting his bare necessities. He had already seeped in the spirit of Mumbai. This was the city which never slept, cared for money, worshiped money. Nothing else mattered to these citizens of the great city. He knew he deserved better than living in non-AC hotels, traveling in the smelly public transport. And he knew that a degree from a good B-school was the solution to all his problems, the only avenue to achieve a decent-standard living. A car, a house in a good locality and enough money to spare for little pleasures was all he wanted. He didn't know it then, but he had slowly but surely started the descent into an abyss, at the bottom of which lay a quicksand, sucking in more than life of a person.

The pressure cooker was hot now. Inside, the steam was getting generated, creating pressure, crushing anything which it could engulf.

Fast forward 2 years. Admit from the top B-School had made him an overnight hero among his friends and relatives. He never lost his cool in all the excitement and he never lost sight of his aim. Once out with a diploma from the B-School he would have enough money to satisfy all his needs. Heaven was just a step away. He could feel the tension build within him. He could feel disconnection from people around him, those who were congratulating him. Obviously this was the 'high' of success. Soon the world would be his and he would have all he had wanted for so long.

The pressure cooker indicated the first warning by letting out a little steam out of the valve. Now the pressure was reaching the maximum and rice had started cooking. However, Santosh was too busy thinking.

Forward 2 more years in B-School. Shanty, as he was now known, was one of the top students there. He had chosen to major in Finance, obviously because that was what paid the most. Every pat on the back, every competition won was making him happier, taking him closer to his goal. He could still remember his first blazer and the first major presentation. He had won the accolades of the judges, an offer in one of the big investment banks and a six figure salary to go with it. Now he would live in luxury, travel would mean star-hotel-hopping and he could afford to drive his own car. The world could not get better, he had thought. He knew now what a delusion it was, but the realization had come a few years too late.

A full whistle, the way of pressure cooker telling you that the food is cooked and the flame should be reduced sooner or later. If you want a perfectly cooked food, that is. However Santosh was in no mood to heed to these indications.

"Mumbai is the right candidate to be called 'the city of joy'" thought Shanty, entering into the office. He had arrived in a posh car although not the best in town and neither chauffeur driven. But that is just a matter of time, he thought. He awaited eagerly for his first assignment to show-off in the office and for the first pay check to show off to the city of Mumbai. He had plans to celebrate the first pay with style. But then came the first disappointment in ages. He realized that he was not the best among the lot, it was tough work to impress his bosses and that his pay did not go too far for his style and neither did his current salary give him the luxury of owning a house, in a so called 'decent' locality, that is. Now started the grueling phase of life. Long hours in office was a necessity. Weekends at office were expected. And though Shanty was enjoying his work, he started missing his home. It had been many months since he could visit his parents. But then came the promotion which came along with a good hike in salary. His long hours at office were gratified. Now he was on the fast elevator. Finally he could afford a house and also marriage, perhaps. Life is perfect, he had thought.

A second full whistle. This is when the rice is completely cooked and it is time to take the cooker off the flames. But this is only if somebody is listening and understands the signal. Santosh understood the signal, but was not listening. He was too busy and buried in his thoughts.

A new house in a middle class suburb, a new car and a new wife. Life was idyllic for 2-3 months after marriage. Working 'normal' hours in office was so relaxing. So is spending romantic time in the evening. Surely, people used to comment on how marriage had changed Shanty, but he never took them seriously. And one fine evening, his boss came into the cubicle and requested some report to be submitted early morning next day. That day was the first late-night since marriage and it felt awful. He vowed not to let it happen again. But this was start of eventual descent into chaos. Initially he stayed late nights only when there were urgent requests from his boss. Then, as he received a hint from a senior that his pay hike and promotion may be affected due to 'regular' hours, he started staying late nights a few times a week. His wife showed her displeasure but was satisfied when he had assured her that it was only a temporary solution till he got a promotion.

The rice was over boiled now and the pressure cooker was silent, having been exhausted much of its water.

Another promotion with a fat bonus this time. The late nights had paid off. It was party time. No more over-working, thought Santosh. He will get a big hike along with guaranteed career at this level. However world is crazy. His bonus was spent within one month for the down payment for the new bigger car. He had never felt the need for the bigger car, but soon a well wisher commented, "Come-on, now you are a manager, you should not come in that filthy small car. You should go for one of those big German cars." Santosh knew that status was very important in his business. The more success is seen by others, more the people respect you. And more the people respect you, the better it is for your career. Now, the hike was being poured into the car EMI and some more in the petrol. And he had to take more loan for renovating the home. The irony of the promotion was that Santosh was now more precariously placed than before the promotion. Life should have been perfect then, but...

The pressure cooker had even stopped seething. It was as if it had lost all hopes of being rescued from the heat.

One fine day, Santosh friend cum colleague came up with a plan. He had seen a land for sale. It was in a decent locality and this was a golden chance to own a beautiful house. The total cost will be much less than the prices in that locality. Santosh was tempted to invest. However soon he realized that he could not afford it with its present situation. Disappointed he was. However his friend suggested a way out and Santosh readily agreed. The hike was due anytime. Santosh just had to live on tight budget till the bonus and the hike turned up. Deal was done and now Santosh was in Cloud 9. Finally, he would have a house in a good locality which can be boasted of. So what if he had to stay on tight budget for some time. His wife understood although she was strained. Things were hoped to be getting better with the hike.

There comes a stage when the pressure cooker is silent and outwardly the appearance is cool. However internally new stress is being built, environment is being heated. It is like an eye of the storm. Calm before the worst winds. Perfect landscape before the worst damage.

Time for hike came and went. Not aware of the financial turbulence which was only about to begin, Santosh got first frustrated and then depressed over his financial situation. He was neck deep in loan which seemed more like a quicksand. The more he moved, the more he seemed to be drowning. The more he worried about finances, the more his performance dropped. The more his performance dropped, the more he had to stay in office. It had now become a habit to stay late-night in office, sometimes pull all-nighters. Meanwhile the situation in the global market was becoming more and more precarious with each passing day. The strain reached its breaking point. Estrangement of an already strained relationship is easy to happen in such times. Story seemed so familiar. Some of the vices he had picked up in the journey also got exaggerated.

The day came when big things were to happen. A minor disagreement degrading into major issue big enough to consider separation resulted into his wife leaving home. Getting into office late, Santosh found the office in disarray. A sudden decision had been made by the company in a desperate move to save itself by cutting costs. With degraded performance over past few months, Santosh was first one to become redundant. It was today that everything had happened. He felt like crying. He felt the loneliness. He felt helpless. And then, suddenly there was a loud noise... and a revelation.

Red-hot cooker on the stove suddenly found safety. The safety valve burst leading to a big noise and spilling the rice on the ceiling. Although the noise was big, it saved the cooker from further damage.

Big noise does not always mean big damage.

POP3 Anonymous

This had to come. People believed for long that POP3 was forever. People believed that POP3 was an undeniable fundamental right. But they were proved wrong. We were proven wrong.

This group is formed for us, by us, to help us. It is for those who are addicted to POP3. Its to support those who are addicted to POP3. Come lets share our pain. Lets handle the WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS together.

It may help to know, for those who are as yet in denial, that life can go on without POP3. Remember, there was a time a few decades ago when POP3 was non-existant. Yet people went on with there lives and were successful too. The denial is mainly due to the myths which a POP3 enthusiast holds close to his/her heart. These have been proven wrong again and again by those people of the past decades including those successful people who ended up designing POP3. POP3 does not improve productivity. POP3 does not help in arranging the emails. POP3 does not force us to use the archiac ActiveX based UI of an web application. These are all myths.

What does POP3 denial means really? It means freedom. It means freedom from checking your outlook so-frequently. It means spending that boring time trying to download some document, while you would rather spend it on coding/working. It means you can do less in more time.

It means, more people are required to do same amount of job. It means employment. This is important especially in todays economic situation. May be one of your unemployed friend has a job because of POP3 denial. Its not bad, really!.

So we welcome all to this club which will help you handle the pain of the withdrawal symptom. It was harsh on those who have been using it for past few years, but we had the signs that this was coming. So, lets work together for getting over the denial syndrome and work towards alternative lifestyle without POP3. Lets make the world happier place without POP3. Welcome ALL!

Good Bye Year of Contradictions

2008 started with Inflation concerns. Real Estate, Crude Oil, Vegetable Oil, Vegetables, Grains, everything was trading at all time high. Government was increasing the interest rates to contain inflation. 2008 ended with deflation concerns. For so many years it was just one more term in my 9th standard economics/social science lesson. Inflation was what everybody around us were worried about. So now the interest rate is at near zero percent. Crude oil is at 5 year low. Mining has nearly halted in many places and companies are having tough time getting rid of inventries even at discounted price.

2008 started with the so called prosperity. Finance guys earning mind boggling salaries. Everybody looking down upon a 20% hike. Everybody was a Oliver Twist, wanting more. China worried about over heating economy. Others worried about the environmental impacts. 2008 ended with layoffs in finance industry. Other industries have the layoff as a hanging sword. People are happy if the salary stays the same.

2008 started with peace talks with Pakistan. Trade boomed across the border. We were bhai-bhai. 2008 ended with a Mumbai attack. Everybody wants a war. People talk about finishing the other once and for all.

On Mumbai Terror

When all of us were busy shouting Ghati - bhaiyya,

When Raj was busy courting arrests and thrashing north Indians,

When Police were busy shuttling Raj from Ratnagiri to BKC to Dombivili,

The enemy at our Gate was busy planning something more sinister.

If we keep diverting the attention of our Police and our Army,

From more burning issues across the border,

It will not take long for our neighbors to make us pay,

And take us to same economic conditions of indebtedness.

So Lets Pray and say "Bharat Mata ki Jai"

And forget for now "Jai Maharashtra".

Agar Bharat Rahega to Maharashtra bhi Rahega.

Agar Pakistan Jitega to kuchch nahi bachega.

Interesting People (in fitness center)

1. Wild Boar: If you have seen a wild boar, you know the characteristics, big fat tummy which belies unexpected amount of strength. These type of people have all the physical characteristics of an obese, while you can see them lifting big weights with ease. Unfortunately they are too much in a hurry to try different things within sight to reduce the big fat tummy.

2. Mouse: A person with a slight yet well toned body and an impatient gaze is surely this character. These people are regularly irregular. They are regular in coming to fitness center. I say they are irregular because they never have a set routine. They keeping smelling for a free instrument and decide to do use it when it becomes free. A quick biceps before moving on to bicycling before moving on to push-ups is how they go around the gym. May be this explains why they have a well toned body but never a well built body.

3. Horse: Sincere to the extent of being obnoxious. These are the people who ask most questions to the instructor and they follow all the instructions diligently. They also are the ones who are most immaculately dressed for the occasion. And surprisingly they hardly ever sweat much, how much ever they exercise. This may be because they are designed not to spoil their clean white attire. Well! Inspite of all their sincerity these people never really succeed in exercising well because they invariably are more concerned about something other than their own health, some times its work, sometimes about helping others etc. These reasons cause them to miss gym more often than is good for health.

4. Lion: He is the king of the workplace. Generally a high-profile manager with big responsibilities at a young age, this guy is the king wherever he goes. Even here in gym, he is the person who runs the most. Like power-lunch, power-nap, he also takes power-jog and power-weights. He knows what he is in the gym for, does it and moves out. He is in control of everything, even time. Not even one extra minute is spent in unnecessary pursuits.

5. Peacocks: They are always interested in displaying their tail, and you know why the tail is for display. Exactly! The main audience is the opposite sex. These people have always one eye on the door awaiting the arrival of the preferred one's. And if the preferred one does does not turn up, and that is the end of that days activities. They peacock just gathers its tail and walk away. And last but not the least, this does not mean that the peacock always have a beautiful tail. Most of the peacocks I have seen are with withered and discolored feathers.

6. Cuckoo: A cuckoo lays eggs in other persons nest to get free service. Some people want everything for free. They want hot shower bath in office (which is incidentally part of gym plan) but dont want to pay for it. Reason: They are not using the fitness center facilities, they are only using the shower. Others wont pay for using the equipments because they are using it only for 15 days a month. Rest of the days they are on travel. And these people shamelessly continue with their act even when caught red-handed by the authorities. They know how to squirm out of any situation without paying.

Guess Who

I am the ONE.
I am the beginning of all things, I am the end for all things.
I have no Equals. I have no definitions.
I am the root of consciousness, I am beyond consciousness.
I have no beginnings. I have no ends.
I am present in the smallest of viruses, I am present in the biggest of the animals.
I am present also in the most intelligent being of them all, the HUMAN.
I influence the conscious. I work in the sub-conscious.
I Create, I preserve, I Destroy.
I am the Only Immortal.
I am THE One.

Redefining Secularism

1. A painter shows Indian goddesses nude. There are protests. The government feels its communal. Left parties denounces hegemony of majority community. He is nominated for Bharat Ratna by a major news channel.

2. A Muslim writer writes against some practices of Islam. She is denounced by Muslim clergy. There are protests in Left dominated states. She is practically barred from the country by the same central government.

This is secularism in India.

Chess Game

During a game of Chess, somewhere after first few moves, a thought comes into my head.
'What an excellent finish I could have had, had I this had this particular pawn one square ahead'.
'Only if the Rook was free to attach the king'.. and so on.

However, in this thought, the beauty of the game is lost. And so are many opportunities.

It is important to dream.. but dream should be about what can be done to the present situation and not to "What if ...".

Selfish Humans Vs Karl Marx

No wonder the state of communist states is what it is...

Showing-off

Still so many people are experts in this "Art".

India-wala Software Tashan

My first attempt at graphical representation of concepts.

And so the democracy wept...

1. Mining lobby makes it possible for BJP to win in Karnataka. The so called first win for BJP in a southern state. Rumors say that the Congress CM of a neighboring state supported BJP in Karnataka due to his interests in the Iron Ore mines.

2. So called communist parties are afraid. After giving up their last remaining communist ideology of socialism, they lost the support of the poor and mainly intelectuals.

3. Nuclear deal. When you cannot reveal the treaty details on issues of highest priority to leaders of parties constituting a majority, you have no right to sign such a deal with another shady government with an "immaculate" history of supporting democracy outside its own teritory.

4. Day One: Left withdraws support to government. Congress is in Minority. Day two: SP supports congress. It is still in minority but only a bit nearer half way mark. Noose tightens around the biggest adversary of SP. Coincidence?

5. Surprise Surprise. Left (Communist), BSP (Dalit) and BJP (Hindutvavadi) have common opinion on an issue atlast. Who said miracles dont happen now a days.

6. Congress in negotiation with convicted MPs for support. Now the murderers will decide the fate of our Motherland. Wads of cash start making rounds, buying votes on either side.

7. And the PM Of the nation, the most revered and would-have-been-most-honest doctorate holder asks for proof of "horse-trading".

And hence the helpless democracy wept.

2 Icons, 2 Imposters

The person who made billions, for himself and for many others. The person who changed the way India is looked upon by developed world. A person who "almost single-handedly" revolutionised the information technology industry in India. A true icon of the capitalist India. Founder of Infy.

The other person made billions, but most likely only for himself. Guru of spiritual world who helps spread happiness. One who has followers all over the world. Living in a orange robe, indicating "Simple Living, High Thinking". A self-confessed reincarnation of Radha.

However, as a saying goes, true nature of a person is exposed when he is drunk and when he is waiting in airline boarding queue.

One, stands with general public in queue for boarding for half an hour till more privileged people board. He travels in Economy Class, the common-man's class with cramped seats and evil food.

The other is rushed through the security and boarding procedure while other lesser-privileged passenger wait. He travels in First Class, the royal class with all the luxuries.

The infy founder is a Saint in Capitalist clothing. And, the second person is a true capitalist dressed as a saint. Looks like Distributing Happiness is more profitable than software outsourcing.

Looks like Kali-yuga has finally arrived.

Test

The Inside Story

News report in a distinguished news paper: blaming no-one:

“ Yesterday night around midnight, cops in XXXX area found an abandoned car containing 2 bodies near a dark play ground. One of the deceased is a middle level manager in a well known public company. No foul play is suspected as suicide note was found near one of the body.”

News report from a cheap tabloid looking for sensational news: (The Inside Story) Blaming the deceased.

“Mr. Srinivas Iyer and his wife lived in a posh locality in Bangalore. He had recently defaulted a load from a bank and his house was slated for auction. Close friends from company indicated that his bad financial position may be due to his habit of betting on chit funds.

He is assumed to have preferred to end his life rather than face the consequences of his bad habits. He along with his wife were found dead near a playground last week.”

Mr Iyer’s neighbour had his own “Inside Story”: Blaming human greed

“Why was it necessary, all that involvement in Chit Fund and going around with those notorious money lenders. He had such a peaceful life, successful manager in a well known company, owning a house in this area, son settled in US and daughter married and working in an MNC here in Bangalore. He had all that was required to be happy.

But human being is such a greedy creature. He always wants more than what he has got. God only knows what more he wanted to get involved in such flimsy money making schemes.”

The deceased tells his own story: Blaming his childhood experiences

“As a student I was so successful. Every body expected me to rise rapidly in the company. But, I knew I was better at finance than my actual profession. I used the knack to illegally start a small financing business of my own and succeeded quite well. As you know, only on that money I could build a big house in this locality, Send my son to US and also marry off my daughter.

But success has its own problems. Now every body including my son has some expectations on my standard of living. My relatives expect me to help them whenever in need. I surely could not have achieved all of that with my salary. Hence I got stuck with that semi-legal venture of mine. What I dint realize was that with age my financial acumen had gone down and a series of bad decisions brought me into a situation which caused my death. I wish I could have stopped this long time back.

I don’t blame anybody, but somehow in some way my mother is responsible. As a child when our financial position was not well-off, she kept comparing our position with others in her family and making remarks such as “how comfortable they (our relatives) were!”. That made a lasting impression and someway made be look for other ways of making money. But I don’t blame her. ”

Mother of the deceased: blaming nobody.

“I was married at 18, and had a kid in one more year. In that age, I was too young to take into account the prosperity of my relatives. I did not know better than comparing our position with others. I wish I had better sense then.”

Thus the Inside Stories end, with none to blame in the end.

Quantuim State: Women liberation in India

Two advertisements being played in local FM stations:

1. Voice of Priyanka Chopra, one of the leading heroines in India "I am from small city in India. but still that did not stop me from follwoing my dream....." advertising for a woman's product. represents may be 2% of the women of india.

2. An anonymous voice 'Yesterday night My husband forgot to take protection. I dont want to become pregnant..." advertising for post-contraceptive. Note that it was husband who forgot to protect, but she did not say anything at that time. May be the rest of 98% of women?

Adventurous journey Athens

Exceprts from my Bangalore to Athens flight.

1. Did not get ticket on direct flight from Bangalore to Franfurt (+4 hours detour to chennai).
2. Waiting in Chennai airport in non-AC section because I reached too early. (-200 ml sweat)
3. Free upgrade to business class (+1000 watt smile)
4. Manchester United Vs Arsenal match (3-0) (+1000 watt smile)
5. Paratha's from home (+ satisfaction)
6. Flight to Frankfurt (+ "ZZZZZ")
7. Flight delayed by 1 hour due to snowstorm (1 plate of Pasta+cheese in lounge)
8. Next seat empty in Athens flight (+ lots of leg space)
9. Flight missed its slot for flying (+1 hour of sleep)
10. Athens Airport closed again (+1 hour flying over Athens airport)
11. rerouted to Thesseloniki for the night.
12. Room in Thesseloniki (Wow).
13. Dinner arrangement in the hotel (even more wow)
14. Board for Athens at 13:00 on monday (Relief)
15. Flight accelerating on runway after waiting for 1 hour (Claps on board.. claps too soon)
16. Sudden brakes before take-off.. (+Smoke and sparks everywhere.. due to failure of Engine-1)
17. Fire department trucks around the plane, Lady crying.. doesnt want to die. (Creating even more tension)
18. Second wait in Thesseloniki.. (6 hours)
19. Take another flight to Athens (Claps but only after complete take-off)
20. Reached Athens (Once again claps of relief.. Monday 23:00)
21. Time taken 56 hours. Actual flight time from Bangalore to Athens via Frankfurt: 11 hours.

Delusioned...

We have so many different philosophies of managing the economy and its people.

1. American Capitalism:
It is a beautiful mechanism in which the richest of the rich and the poorest of the poor share the land. It is a place where the intelligent and gifted get all they want, but also manage that the poor have no chance of progress. They are stuck for life, but dont understand. You need money to go to school. You need lots of money to get treatement in a hospital. You need even more money to get into a decent college. And it is called "Land of Opportunities".

2. Soviet Capitalism:
What was designed to get rid of the rich and the powerful, became a tool for oppression in hands of the rich and the powerful. Only the faces changed. In the older system, the landed class ruled and oppressed. In the new system, the PARTY ruled and oppressed. And no everybody could get into the party. The decision lay with few and now they ruled and oppressed.

3. Chinese Pseudo-communism:
This is the biggest farce on the face of earth. Unprecedented prosperity has helped the chosen few to strengthen their hold over the poor. How much the poor suffer in this land is not known. How much the successful enjoy is portrayed out for the hungry media. This is the biggest PR exercise in the history of the nations. But I am sure of one thing, previous generation saw the rise and fall of Soviet Russia. Our generation will see the rise and fall of nationalist China.

4. Socialism:
Some successes in socialism with high "happiness" rates are used by some socialist as the proof of its success. But the point missed is that the so called success in these countries (France and Germany) invariably preceded a period of exploitation of some third world country and thus raising the standard of living. Some other countries (Sweden and Norway) successfully exploited the natural resources and used it for betterment of the sparsely populated country. Hence the only success of socialism is in places where already there is high per capita income.

“Kaise-Fati-2008”

“Kaise-Fati-2008”

Once upon a time in a far away planet there lived a King. It was a weird planet with its own caste system. There was common (wo)man who through his sweat and blood sustained the planet. Then there were leaders of the common (wo)men who were kind and encouraging. Then there were accountants managing the economy. But the greatest of them all were the organizers. Those born with silver spoons and having a gift to manage the show. Unfortunately, like all the bourgeoisie on all the planets, disconnected from the reality.

One day the King decided to please the public. He decided to spend some money earned by the country through the hard work of the common (wo)man, he called for a “Outing” and called it “For the People”.

Outing in that planet meant something else. On the day of outing, all the population of the planet will be herded to a far away place, will be provided with food and drinks. He even decided that a “robe” will be given to everyone to commemorate this occasion. They will be given a chance to perform on stage and show their talents. King would also give a speech and achievements would be mentioned and future plans would be discussed.

Date was fixed and venue decided. The common (wo)man began their preparation in full force to decide. All of them prepared well for the event including the King. But GODS had something else in mind.

1. The event was decided to take place far away. People waited for the letter instructing the transportation. People waited in vain and letter arrived only after the nightfall on the planet and most of the people had slept. Organisers blamed the Postman.
2. Still with ingenuity most of them managed to get to the venue, only to find big queue for the first food. (Organisers forgot that many people will arrive simultaneously.) They blamed the mathematician who did not model the arrival rate properly. Unfortunately Poisson arrival does not work properly in such cases.
3. The King started giving speech. It turned out that the space for the audience was small. (Organisers had forgotten that the King was ruling over a booming planet and population had increased four-fold in past few years.). Organisers blamed the common (wo)man were not interested to listen.
4. Lunch and dinner coupons were distributed only after writing down employee names. (Organizers forgot that they lived on a lonely planet, and everybody was invited). BTW, by checking the lists, the author confirmed the rumors that super-stars from far away Indo-sara like Bipasha Basu and Amitabh Bachchan had sneaked in to have food.
5. Organizers managed the complex task of collecting coupons in exchange for plate immensely enjoyable. The scene was more like olden day BSE Share market, where every person is try to get his hand high enough to submit the coupon and obtain the plates. This clearly improved the “Bhai-chara” among the citizens of the planet. Unfortunately some people were non-sportive enough to plan getting their own plates from the next ‘Outing’.
6. Being a lonely planet and not affording inter-planetory transport, judges for the competition were chosen from among the leaders of common (wo)man. As an unrelated event immediately after the judges were announced, the performers started guessing the winners even before anybody had performed. (Organisers did not respond to this question). Foreign words like “Benson” and “Bucknor” were also heard by the author, although did not make much sense.
7. Transport on the way back, food was arranged during the performance. (Organizers claimed lack of time. Participants claimed lack on ingenuity from organizers). Most people were engrossed in food while competition was on. Organizers quoted that food improved the enjoying ability.
8. Immediately after the performance, transportation was announced. Teams performing last were not given food. (Organizers claimed the Joy of performance should fill the stomach).
9. Last but not the least, robe mentioned by the King was never distributed. (When contacted, organizers claimed the robe was given only to those people who managed to take the survey of the size.) It turned out that survey was placed in shadow where nobody could see it. Rumours say it is part of cost cutting strategy by the ever-brilliant Organizers. How ironic considering that the people busy preparing for the event (and those who did not take the survey), most deserved the “robe”.

Over-all the event was named as “Kaise- Fati” by common (wo)man. But organizers still call it Casa-Fete, the Greatest success. (Scale for success: Lesser the money spent per person, bigger the success).

People have already started planning for “Phir-Fati-2009”. Some tips making rounds:

- Rent a Tent for changing costumes with dignity.

- Carry a multi-level stool for accommodating into speech-room.

- Carry a plate, spoon, bowl etc for having food in peace.

- And last but not the least, carry a tiffin-box for storing the dinner so that food can be had on the bus. Preferably Tiffin be filled already with Food. Any food is better than Cold and Stale food.

- Keep stock of some liquids from UB Group and from other groups for interested parties.