Interesting People (in fitness center)

1. Wild Boar: If you have seen a wild boar, you know the characteristics, big fat tummy which belies unexpected amount of strength. These type of people have all the physical characteristics of an obese, while you can see them lifting big weights with ease. Unfortunately they are too much in a hurry to try different things within sight to reduce the big fat tummy.

2. Mouse: A person with a slight yet well toned body and an impatient gaze is surely this character. These people are regularly irregular. They are regular in coming to fitness center. I say they are irregular because they never have a set routine. They keeping smelling for a free instrument and decide to do use it when it becomes free. A quick biceps before moving on to bicycling before moving on to push-ups is how they go around the gym. May be this explains why they have a well toned body but never a well built body.

3. Horse: Sincere to the extent of being obnoxious. These are the people who ask most questions to the instructor and they follow all the instructions diligently. They also are the ones who are most immaculately dressed for the occasion. And surprisingly they hardly ever sweat much, how much ever they exercise. This may be because they are designed not to spoil their clean white attire. Well! Inspite of all their sincerity these people never really succeed in exercising well because they invariably are more concerned about something other than their own health, some times its work, sometimes about helping others etc. These reasons cause them to miss gym more often than is good for health.

4. Lion: He is the king of the workplace. Generally a high-profile manager with big responsibilities at a young age, this guy is the king wherever he goes. Even here in gym, he is the person who runs the most. Like power-lunch, power-nap, he also takes power-jog and power-weights. He knows what he is in the gym for, does it and moves out. He is in control of everything, even time. Not even one extra minute is spent in unnecessary pursuits.

5. Peacocks: They are always interested in displaying their tail, and you know why the tail is for display. Exactly! The main audience is the opposite sex. These people have always one eye on the door awaiting the arrival of the preferred one's. And if the preferred one does does not turn up, and that is the end of that days activities. They peacock just gathers its tail and walk away. And last but not the least, this does not mean that the peacock always have a beautiful tail. Most of the peacocks I have seen are with withered and discolored feathers.

6. Cuckoo: A cuckoo lays eggs in other persons nest to get free service. Some people want everything for free. They want hot shower bath in office (which is incidentally part of gym plan) but dont want to pay for it. Reason: They are not using the fitness center facilities, they are only using the shower. Others wont pay for using the equipments because they are using it only for 15 days a month. Rest of the days they are on travel. And these people shamelessly continue with their act even when caught red-handed by the authorities. They know how to squirm out of any situation without paying.

Guess Who

I am the ONE.
I am the beginning of all things, I am the end for all things.
I have no Equals. I have no definitions.
I am the root of consciousness, I am beyond consciousness.
I have no beginnings. I have no ends.
I am present in the smallest of viruses, I am present in the biggest of the animals.
I am present also in the most intelligent being of them all, the HUMAN.
I influence the conscious. I work in the sub-conscious.
I Create, I preserve, I Destroy.
I am the Only Immortal.
I am THE One.

Redefining Secularism

1. A painter shows Indian goddesses nude. There are protests. The government feels its communal. Left parties denounces hegemony of majority community. He is nominated for Bharat Ratna by a major news channel.

2. A Muslim writer writes against some practices of Islam. She is denounced by Muslim clergy. There are protests in Left dominated states. She is practically barred from the country by the same central government.

This is secularism in India.

Chess Game

During a game of Chess, somewhere after first few moves, a thought comes into my head.
'What an excellent finish I could have had, had I this had this particular pawn one square ahead'.
'Only if the Rook was free to attach the king'.. and so on.

However, in this thought, the beauty of the game is lost. And so are many opportunities.

It is important to dream.. but dream should be about what can be done to the present situation and not to "What if ...".

Selfish Humans Vs Karl Marx

No wonder the state of communist states is what it is...

Showing-off

Still so many people are experts in this "Art".

India-wala Software Tashan

My first attempt at graphical representation of concepts.

And so the democracy wept...

1. Mining lobby makes it possible for BJP to win in Karnataka. The so called first win for BJP in a southern state. Rumors say that the Congress CM of a neighboring state supported BJP in Karnataka due to his interests in the Iron Ore mines.

2. So called communist parties are afraid. After giving up their last remaining communist ideology of socialism, they lost the support of the poor and mainly intelectuals.

3. Nuclear deal. When you cannot reveal the treaty details on issues of highest priority to leaders of parties constituting a majority, you have no right to sign such a deal with another shady government with an "immaculate" history of supporting democracy outside its own teritory.

4. Day One: Left withdraws support to government. Congress is in Minority. Day two: SP supports congress. It is still in minority but only a bit nearer half way mark. Noose tightens around the biggest adversary of SP. Coincidence?

5. Surprise Surprise. Left (Communist), BSP (Dalit) and BJP (Hindutvavadi) have common opinion on an issue atlast. Who said miracles dont happen now a days.

6. Congress in negotiation with convicted MPs for support. Now the murderers will decide the fate of our Motherland. Wads of cash start making rounds, buying votes on either side.

7. And the PM Of the nation, the most revered and would-have-been-most-honest doctorate holder asks for proof of "horse-trading".

And hence the helpless democracy wept.

2 Icons, 2 Imposters

The person who made billions, for himself and for many others. The person who changed the way India is looked upon by developed world. A person who "almost single-handedly" revolutionised the information technology industry in India. A true icon of the capitalist India. Founder of Infy.

The other person made billions, but most likely only for himself. Guru of spiritual world who helps spread happiness. One who has followers all over the world. Living in a orange robe, indicating "Simple Living, High Thinking". A self-confessed reincarnation of Radha.

However, as a saying goes, true nature of a person is exposed when he is drunk and when he is waiting in airline boarding queue.

One, stands with general public in queue for boarding for half an hour till more privileged people board. He travels in Economy Class, the common-man's class with cramped seats and evil food.

The other is rushed through the security and boarding procedure while other lesser-privileged passenger wait. He travels in First Class, the royal class with all the luxuries.

The infy founder is a Saint in Capitalist clothing. And, the second person is a true capitalist dressed as a saint. Looks like Distributing Happiness is more profitable than software outsourcing.

Looks like Kali-yuga has finally arrived.

Test

The Inside Story

News report in a distinguished news paper: blaming no-one:

“ Yesterday night around midnight, cops in XXXX area found an abandoned car containing 2 bodies near a dark play ground. One of the deceased is a middle level manager in a well known public company. No foul play is suspected as suicide note was found near one of the body.”

News report from a cheap tabloid looking for sensational news: (The Inside Story) Blaming the deceased.

“Mr. Srinivas Iyer and his wife lived in a posh locality in Bangalore. He had recently defaulted a load from a bank and his house was slated for auction. Close friends from company indicated that his bad financial position may be due to his habit of betting on chit funds.

He is assumed to have preferred to end his life rather than face the consequences of his bad habits. He along with his wife were found dead near a playground last week.”

Mr Iyer’s neighbour had his own “Inside Story”: Blaming human greed

“Why was it necessary, all that involvement in Chit Fund and going around with those notorious money lenders. He had such a peaceful life, successful manager in a well known company, owning a house in this area, son settled in US and daughter married and working in an MNC here in Bangalore. He had all that was required to be happy.

But human being is such a greedy creature. He always wants more than what he has got. God only knows what more he wanted to get involved in such flimsy money making schemes.”

The deceased tells his own story: Blaming his childhood experiences

“As a student I was so successful. Every body expected me to rise rapidly in the company. But, I knew I was better at finance than my actual profession. I used the knack to illegally start a small financing business of my own and succeeded quite well. As you know, only on that money I could build a big house in this locality, Send my son to US and also marry off my daughter.

But success has its own problems. Now every body including my son has some expectations on my standard of living. My relatives expect me to help them whenever in need. I surely could not have achieved all of that with my salary. Hence I got stuck with that semi-legal venture of mine. What I dint realize was that with age my financial acumen had gone down and a series of bad decisions brought me into a situation which caused my death. I wish I could have stopped this long time back.

I don’t blame anybody, but somehow in some way my mother is responsible. As a child when our financial position was not well-off, she kept comparing our position with others in her family and making remarks such as “how comfortable they (our relatives) were!”. That made a lasting impression and someway made be look for other ways of making money. But I don’t blame her. ”

Mother of the deceased: blaming nobody.

“I was married at 18, and had a kid in one more year. In that age, I was too young to take into account the prosperity of my relatives. I did not know better than comparing our position with others. I wish I had better sense then.”

Thus the Inside Stories end, with none to blame in the end.

Quantuim State: Women liberation in India

Two advertisements being played in local FM stations:

1. Voice of Priyanka Chopra, one of the leading heroines in India "I am from small city in India. but still that did not stop me from follwoing my dream....." advertising for a woman's product. represents may be 2% of the women of india.

2. An anonymous voice 'Yesterday night My husband forgot to take protection. I dont want to become pregnant..." advertising for post-contraceptive. Note that it was husband who forgot to protect, but she did not say anything at that time. May be the rest of 98% of women?

Adventurous journey Athens

Exceprts from my Bangalore to Athens flight.

1. Did not get ticket on direct flight from Bangalore to Franfurt (+4 hours detour to chennai).
2. Waiting in Chennai airport in non-AC section because I reached too early. (-200 ml sweat)
3. Free upgrade to business class (+1000 watt smile)
4. Manchester United Vs Arsenal match (3-0) (+1000 watt smile)
5. Paratha's from home (+ satisfaction)
6. Flight to Frankfurt (+ "ZZZZZ")
7. Flight delayed by 1 hour due to snowstorm (1 plate of Pasta+cheese in lounge)
8. Next seat empty in Athens flight (+ lots of leg space)
9. Flight missed its slot for flying (+1 hour of sleep)
10. Athens Airport closed again (+1 hour flying over Athens airport)
11. rerouted to Thesseloniki for the night.
12. Room in Thesseloniki (Wow).
13. Dinner arrangement in the hotel (even more wow)
14. Board for Athens at 13:00 on monday (Relief)
15. Flight accelerating on runway after waiting for 1 hour (Claps on board.. claps too soon)
16. Sudden brakes before take-off.. (+Smoke and sparks everywhere.. due to failure of Engine-1)
17. Fire department trucks around the plane, Lady crying.. doesnt want to die. (Creating even more tension)
18. Second wait in Thesseloniki.. (6 hours)
19. Take another flight to Athens (Claps but only after complete take-off)
20. Reached Athens (Once again claps of relief.. Monday 23:00)
21. Time taken 56 hours. Actual flight time from Bangalore to Athens via Frankfurt: 11 hours.

Delusioned...

We have so many different philosophies of managing the economy and its people.

1. American Capitalism:
It is a beautiful mechanism in which the richest of the rich and the poorest of the poor share the land. It is a place where the intelligent and gifted get all they want, but also manage that the poor have no chance of progress. They are stuck for life, but dont understand. You need money to go to school. You need lots of money to get treatement in a hospital. You need even more money to get into a decent college. And it is called "Land of Opportunities".

2. Soviet Capitalism:
What was designed to get rid of the rich and the powerful, became a tool for oppression in hands of the rich and the powerful. Only the faces changed. In the older system, the landed class ruled and oppressed. In the new system, the PARTY ruled and oppressed. And no everybody could get into the party. The decision lay with few and now they ruled and oppressed.

3. Chinese Pseudo-communism:
This is the biggest farce on the face of earth. Unprecedented prosperity has helped the chosen few to strengthen their hold over the poor. How much the poor suffer in this land is not known. How much the successful enjoy is portrayed out for the hungry media. This is the biggest PR exercise in the history of the nations. But I am sure of one thing, previous generation saw the rise and fall of Soviet Russia. Our generation will see the rise and fall of nationalist China.

4. Socialism:
Some successes in socialism with high "happiness" rates are used by some socialist as the proof of its success. But the point missed is that the so called success in these countries (France and Germany) invariably preceded a period of exploitation of some third world country and thus raising the standard of living. Some other countries (Sweden and Norway) successfully exploited the natural resources and used it for betterment of the sparsely populated country. Hence the only success of socialism is in places where already there is high per capita income.

“Kaise-Fati-2008”

“Kaise-Fati-2008”

Once upon a time in a far away planet there lived a King. It was a weird planet with its own caste system. There was common (wo)man who through his sweat and blood sustained the planet. Then there were leaders of the common (wo)men who were kind and encouraging. Then there were accountants managing the economy. But the greatest of them all were the organizers. Those born with silver spoons and having a gift to manage the show. Unfortunately, like all the bourgeoisie on all the planets, disconnected from the reality.

One day the King decided to please the public. He decided to spend some money earned by the country through the hard work of the common (wo)man, he called for a “Outing” and called it “For the People”.

Outing in that planet meant something else. On the day of outing, all the population of the planet will be herded to a far away place, will be provided with food and drinks. He even decided that a “robe” will be given to everyone to commemorate this occasion. They will be given a chance to perform on stage and show their talents. King would also give a speech and achievements would be mentioned and future plans would be discussed.

Date was fixed and venue decided. The common (wo)man began their preparation in full force to decide. All of them prepared well for the event including the King. But GODS had something else in mind.

1. The event was decided to take place far away. People waited for the letter instructing the transportation. People waited in vain and letter arrived only after the nightfall on the planet and most of the people had slept. Organisers blamed the Postman.
2. Still with ingenuity most of them managed to get to the venue, only to find big queue for the first food. (Organisers forgot that many people will arrive simultaneously.) They blamed the mathematician who did not model the arrival rate properly. Unfortunately Poisson arrival does not work properly in such cases.
3. The King started giving speech. It turned out that the space for the audience was small. (Organisers had forgotten that the King was ruling over a booming planet and population had increased four-fold in past few years.). Organisers blamed the common (wo)man were not interested to listen.
4. Lunch and dinner coupons were distributed only after writing down employee names. (Organizers forgot that they lived on a lonely planet, and everybody was invited). BTW, by checking the lists, the author confirmed the rumors that super-stars from far away Indo-sara like Bipasha Basu and Amitabh Bachchan had sneaked in to have food.
5. Organizers managed the complex task of collecting coupons in exchange for plate immensely enjoyable. The scene was more like olden day BSE Share market, where every person is try to get his hand high enough to submit the coupon and obtain the plates. This clearly improved the “Bhai-chara” among the citizens of the planet. Unfortunately some people were non-sportive enough to plan getting their own plates from the next ‘Outing’.
6. Being a lonely planet and not affording inter-planetory transport, judges for the competition were chosen from among the leaders of common (wo)man. As an unrelated event immediately after the judges were announced, the performers started guessing the winners even before anybody had performed. (Organisers did not respond to this question). Foreign words like “Benson” and “Bucknor” were also heard by the author, although did not make much sense.
7. Transport on the way back, food was arranged during the performance. (Organizers claimed lack of time. Participants claimed lack on ingenuity from organizers). Most people were engrossed in food while competition was on. Organizers quoted that food improved the enjoying ability.
8. Immediately after the performance, transportation was announced. Teams performing last were not given food. (Organizers claimed the Joy of performance should fill the stomach).
9. Last but not the least, robe mentioned by the King was never distributed. (When contacted, organizers claimed the robe was given only to those people who managed to take the survey of the size.) It turned out that survey was placed in shadow where nobody could see it. Rumours say it is part of cost cutting strategy by the ever-brilliant Organizers. How ironic considering that the people busy preparing for the event (and those who did not take the survey), most deserved the “robe”.

Over-all the event was named as “Kaise- Fati” by common (wo)man. But organizers still call it Casa-Fete, the Greatest success. (Scale for success: Lesser the money spent per person, bigger the success).

People have already started planning for “Phir-Fati-2009”. Some tips making rounds:

- Rent a Tent for changing costumes with dignity.

- Carry a multi-level stool for accommodating into speech-room.

- Carry a plate, spoon, bowl etc for having food in peace.

- And last but not the least, carry a tiffin-box for storing the dinner so that food can be had on the bus. Preferably Tiffin be filled already with Food. Any food is better than Cold and Stale food.

- Keep stock of some liquids from UB Group and from other groups for interested parties.

And hence I proclaim myself to be an atheist.

Benazir Bhutto, the most rational voice in Pakistan, has been silenced.

The most ridiculous fight between two communalist parties in Gujarat, each arguing how one is secular and the other not, has ended. One party won, the other lost.

Nandigram is still burning. Communist Party of India are no more Communists than George Bush's America.

Taslima Nasreen is in Exile a second time. This time from a Hindu Majority State and Communist Government could not stop the fundamentalists from destroying public peace as protest against her so called blasphemy. Here the secularity of Communists was safely bundled and buried.

Christians are being attacked. May be for monitory induced conversion. May be for indulging in separatist attitude. May be for pure social work.

MF Hussain's paintings are being attacked again.

And worst of all, media condemns Modi's pro-hindu strategy while blindly condoning Congress, CPI and other's for pro-Muslim, Pro-Christian policies.

Tony Blair, till recently PM of Great Britain, officially embraced catholicism. With that he is now not only anti-war (which is good), but also anti-abortionist, anti-evolutionary, and for that matter anti-science also.

And I better not talk about USA and the right wing Christianity. Where more than 50% people don't believe in Evolution, a theory with100 years of proofs, does not even merit a mention.

And hence I proclaim myself to be an atheist. Not agnostic. But an Atheist.

Marathi Bana: An apt Epitaph for Marathi Culture

Yesterday I watched "Marathi BaNa" in Deenanath in Parle, Mumbai. Its a beautiful and well presented play both from choreographic and content wise. It managed to depict the variety of Marathi traditions in a concise yet detailed form. It concluded with lamentations towards how the traditions are being lost even in rural India. The director/producer declared that No action is being taken to prevent the traditions from receding into oblivion.

Now the question I asked myself was: "What are traditions? What is culture?". It is something which helps us in being a good citizen and good member of society while providing the entertainment. The traditions of Vasudev and Bharud engrained in the marathi society was to spread the moral discourses far and wide and self sustain the tradition. In the age of information technology and widespread education, the importance of 'word of mouth' spread of moral discourses have become somewhat irrelevant in the cities. And it is bound to become more and more irrelavant as time passes even in rural India. Instead of lamenting and spending effort into saving a now worthless tradition, it will be better to spend the same effort to include the same messages in our schooling system. Improve the quality of education. That will serve Maharashtrians and India better in the long run.

The society is moving away from animal dependence to machine dependence. Importance of Cows and Bulls, Sheep and goat is reducing day by day. So is the importance of all traditions celebrating the interdependence between animal and human.

Girls/Ladies and become more and more independent, working and getting more freedom in the society. They are able to meet their freinds/relatives without the need to "supported traditions" like Haldi-Kunku, Mangala-Gaur etc etc. And hence the reduce importance of these functions/puja in Urban India.

Agriculture is a thing of past. From now on more and more people will move out of dependence on agriculture and allied fields into more urban style of work environments. Today, with advent of electric machines like mixer-grinder old equipments like "jaata" etc are obsolete. And that is true in all walks of life.

Traditional 'koLi' is being replaced by Trawlers. Tribes are getting educated and moving into urban environments. Children find 'Foreign' games like Cricket more attractive.

Now do we need to lament the lost traditions? And is it worth while to spend the effort to support the traditions? At best we can achieve the traditions on life-support. Their is no way we will be able to make the system self-sustaining.

I am happy to let go these traditions. Others are sure to disagree, there is certain nostalgia attached to each and every thing. Everybody hates change. But this is the price to pay for all the conveniences we receive. Watching a "Marathi BaNa" in an AC hall, eating Vada-pav, drinking Pepsi is not the best way to show your support and cannot be more ironic. I wonder how many people clapping their hands off even have time to teach their children Marathi. Clap for the performance. Applaud the effort and creativity. But clapping in support of "lamentations of lost traditions" and "Lets save this culture" is ridiculous at best and laughable in general.

A new Intelligent Idiot box

A group of friends, sitting on park bench and staring at it,
A group of adults, discussing while the child stares at it,
A couple walking hand in hand, and talking on 'it' all the time.
A mother and son sitting in a restaurant, and son playing games on it.

A group attending a funeral, and everyone on 'it' half the time.

What about knowledge sharing, learning from elders, enjoying each others company and sharing of grief? All lost in one thing. The Mobile.

Greed

In the eye of the Gold Shopper,
And in the eye of Green Card hopeful,
Also in the eye of MBA Aspirer,
So also with Electronics Lover.

The basis for Capitalist Society,
And about Skin Deep beauty.
And Year long Green House Summer,
sad childhood, ruined youth and many a murder.

[Regarding Book] Games Indians Play: A prejudiced view without proper analysis

This is not a book review, but my impression of the book after completing 1/4th of the 200 pages. Games Indians Play is a book by V. Raghunath.

This book is supposed to explain the 'Why we are the way we are". It starts of with saying that we as Indians have typical characteristics which is not found anywhere else in the world, be it developed or developing or under-developed countries. The traits like: Jumping the Red light, Being late and untrustworthy, keeping the surroundings unclean, bribing and corruption, jumping the queue and being insensitive about needs to elderly etc. It has a foreword by none other than Mr. Narayan Murthy.

I completely agree with him that all the traits are completely valid and true. We see them day in and day out. But where I disagree is that these traits are special to Indian genes and are not found anywhere else. Having been to many countries and interacted with people of many different nationalities, I find this completely ridiculous. Here are my personal experiences:

1. The bus I was waiting for in Nice, France was 20 minutes late. The driver was unapologetic and kept chattering with a person sitting next to him all the while from Airport to my bus stop, many times taking his eyes from the road. All of these are supposed to be typical Indian characteristics.

2. People honk of impatience at traffic lights in Italy. I have seen them taking a shortcuts which are not exactly legal. So impatience on the road is not "India only trait".

3. Uncleanliness is quite rampant. Dog owners dont lift Dog-Shit from roads in Germany, they litter the downtown in most US cities, China is as dirty as India.

4. Taking advantage of a unsuspecting tourists is quite common in China, Italy, Greece etc. A friend of mine lost his Wallet in China and another friend lost his laptop in Rome, both incidents happened within Airport premises. My colleague was ripped off 3 times the normal fare in Beijing, China.

5. And if bending the law is typical Indian attitude, I cannot account for piracy of movies and music. And how can we take into account the Enron's and the Worldcom's? And china is not much better than India when it comes to bribery.

Overall this may be a good book from analysis perspective, but has been twisted for the sake of publicity. People tend to buy more if it is related to India rather than a generic behavioral science book. But this is unjustifiable when book shows India in negative light without any reason just for the sake of publicity.

I hope nobody buys this book and make success out of anti-Indianess.